You have the most beautiful face.
Posts will involve things like hope, love, advice, life and everything in between. Many will address negative things and counter them with positive. Because this is such a positive environment, it is also very open minded and will contain different topics such as different sexualities and different ways of life. There will never be any explicit or NSFW content other than from occasional cursing in reblogs.
Life is beautiful, and so are you.
I personally believe that there is great strength in all of us, every single human. That one of the greatest wonders of humanity is our resilience and the great shows of strength.
Every day people suffer horrible, horrible atrocities. And every day, people survive them. They survive, they live. Yes, they will carry the scars, be they mental or physical, but that is a part of life.
Life is one big scar.
When our life begins, we are a blank slate. Completely unmarred. While some people may have the misfortune to be scarred early (disorders at birth, etc), most people are undamaged.
Then life happens.
And by the time we reach the end of our lives, the scars are many. Most of them may have faded, or are kept in the depths of our mind, but they are there. And they will follow us to the grave.
Many people fear scars, and it is perfectly understandable. They hurt. They can be ugly and remind us of things we’d rather forget. So I hold no disappointment for those who try to avoid what scars them.
The only unfortunate part in that is by trying to avoid pain, people often cause much more. What seems easy is often the most difficult and leaves the deepest scars.
Strength is just the ability to carry on, despite the pain, despite the scars.
Weakness is not stumbling, not faltering, but giving up. Just because you have moments of weakness does not mean you are weak.
My moment of weakness lasted for years, most of my life. It wasn’t until a mental breakdown that I finally had enough. That I was tired of giving up on myself.
It wasn’t easy.
Anything worth anything is never easy.
I found my strength because I wanted to be strong. I pushed myself to be strong. I’m still scared. I’m still unsure with where I am going. I’m still worried about things I shouldn’t.
But I keep pressing on.
Because that’s all we really can do.
Find strength in yourself. In each breath. In each heartbeat. In each second that pushes you forward.
Your time is limited.
Make the most of it.
Life promises you many things. It promises you pain and it promises you pleasure. The happiness is worth it, friend, it is. Because, really, it’s all we have.
It is just unfortunate that the price must be so great sometimes.
Do not let that discourage you.
Scars heal.
Scars are little badges that say YOU SURVIVED.
Wear them with pride.
I’m going to start off by saying that it is very good that you think of yourself as part of the world around you, because you are. You, like every single thing, living or non, are a part of the same universe. You are made from the same stuff.
There is beauty in that sameness, but even more in the uniqueness that makes us different. Not only are we different from everything that isn’t a human, but we are also different from every human that is, has been, and will be. Due to the nature of nature you are a completely unique individual who, with your exact atoms and your exact experiences and exact occupation of time, will never occur ever again.
And unfortunately, many people can’t see the beauty in those differences.
Many people believe horrible things about the differences in others and try to spread that belief. They spread it through stereotypes and prejudice and false statements and direct mistreatment. It is a completely social thing and society is the one to feed the flames that keep that very harmful belief alive.
You said so yourself that you believe you are part of the world around you until you look at a mirror. But you have to remember what a mirror really is. It is just a reflection. Not the real thing.
And that hurt you feel is not from the fact you are a specific race, but from the fact society tells you that you should feel bad. When you look into a mirror, you are looking at yourself as others would see you. You become an observer. And society taught you to feel bad about the fact your facial features are different than those of the people around you.
You have been wronged, my friend. You and so many people have been wronged by your own society, something that shouldn’t hurt you, but coexist with you in peace.
The greatest crime society has committed against you is not the fact it alienates you, but the fact it has so drilled lies into your head that when you look in the mirror, you believe them.
And that is a tragedy.
But it doesn’t have to be. You do not have to be a victim despite being hurt. You do not have to bend to the will of those with hate in their heart. You do not have to believe the lies.
I will tell you some truth, friend.
The truth is that you are a unique individual. You are beautiful in that uniqueness. You, like everyone else, are an individual person, an individual mind that has thoughts, feelings, memories, and experiences that are completely unique to you.
The words and actions of others will never change how wonderful you are, every bit of you, both your mind and the vessel it comes in. They will try, friend. They will try to chase you down the path of prejudice and alienation.
But you do not have to take that path.
You do not have to accept that way of thinking.
Be strong, my friend. Be strong. Hold your head high because you have every single reason in the world to be proud of who you are. You are the only you who will ever exist. You are something amazing and if others can’t see that, then leave them to their blindness.
But don’t let them try to blind you too.
There isn’t a single thing wrong with your race or anyone’s race. There is nothing about your body that makes it any better or any less than anyone else’s. Why? Because your body is yours. It is for you only to experience. Other people have no business being concerned about any aspect of your body because it will never be theirs.
In your ask you compared race issues to that of transgendered people. They are both indeed tricky subjects and can be related. The biggest uniting factor between the two is the fact that society often treats them the way they should not be treated. Nothing about your body and your identity should affect how other people treat you or anyone else.
You said that your race will be forever unchangeable, and this is probably true. But there is something that is changeable. There is something that is a choice.
And that choice is whether or not you believe the lies and continue to see the differences or if you live the change you want to see in the world.
It starts with you, friend.
It starts with you looking in the mirror and not seeing a member of a specific race, but instead a beautiful and unique individual.
And once you have broken yourself free from those lies, you can help others break free too. It doesn’t even take all that much effort. Just live life without giving into the lies. Without supporting them.
All it takes is treating people equally in both action and words. Do not let spite take hold of you, friend. Instead, only love and acceptance.
It may seem small. It may seem insignificant.
But even the smallest things can change the whole world.
This is a very tricky subject.
I want to say a few things before I actually answer the question. If you are already aware of these things, that is absolutely wonderful and please do not mind me repeating things that you may already realize for the sake of other readers who may not.
(And as a side note, I am using the word LGBT instead of homosexual since this situation is relevant to more than one.)
First things first, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.
I know this can get the reaction of “well of course LGBTs aren’t bad!”, but that isn’t the point. The point is that you are constantly being told by masses of people that you are and I just want to reassure you, as nothing more than a stranger, that YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL AND UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL, DESPITE WHAT OTHERS SAY. Despite what you may think of yourself, even, if you ever do fall into the horrible trap of self loathing.
Secondly, I am all about taking risks in the name for being who you are, but this is something you have to handle carefully.
Unfortunately, some families react so negatively that they disown and cut off all ties to their LGBT children. I am not sure how your family will react, but if you are dependent, make sure you have a thoroughly secured backup plan for shelter, food, and money in case things go bad. Friends are not only a good option, but I believe several cities have organizations to help homeless LGBT teens.
I hope it would never have to come to that, but you have to be prepared for things like this.
Despite many of the horror stories of being disowned, many families may have a strong initial reaction, but the love of their child takes over and they do their best to tolerate and accept them. Unfortunately not all families are like this.
This ask answer may seem like it is dancing on the edge of negativity, but it is just being realistic. It is addressing a very serious issue in a very serious manner. Everything within this ask is meant to help you and in no way discourage you.
With that being said, there is often a very hard, very cruel choice LGBT people are forced to make…
One option is that they can continue to live a lie and pretend their whole lives just to be accepted by others while the misery of that slowly eats them away until they suffer a possible breakdown. Years of denying who you are, years of lying to yourself, wearing a mask just in hopes your family will love you.
Friend, that is no life. That is a living death.
Or they can be who they are, be true to themselves and others, be happy with themselves and possibly lose their family.
The latter is one of the greatest fears I have heard members of the LBGT community express. It used to be my own fear as well.
In fact I wasted years of my life trying to make my parents happy. I tried to be straight even to the point of getting engaged to a friend and trying so desperately to love them how I “should” love the opposite sex, but it of course didn’t work. I was lucky in the sense I had a moment of realization and called the engagement off.
I know what it is to want to be loved. I know what it is to feel unlovable because of who I am. I know what it is to look a parent in the eye and know their love was so paper thin that it could be torn by something as petty as sexuality and/or simply not being the child THEY wanted you to be.
But you can never truly be the person anyone wants you to be. You can only be yourself, the person YOU are. The person YOU grow into. The person YOU build yourself up into.
I can’t sugar coat what I am about to say. I can’t change it. If I could, I would in a heartbeat. I would make it to have never existed so that no child would ever lie awake and wonder if their family truly loves them.
You may lose your blood family.
And the first thing I want to say about that is that it is NOT your fault. You are NOT the problem. They are. They are the ones who take something so trivial and weigh the love of their child on, not you.
You are not at fault here.
You should never be ashamed of who you are, even if other people tell you that you should. They are wrong. They are wrong and trying to get you to believe a lie just so they can feel a little more comfortable with themselves. It’s incredibly selfish and NO ONE should ever do that, especially to their own child.
A parent should love their child unconditionally. And when I say unconditionally, I mean ABSOLUTELY unconditionally. It is a love that should NEVER falter. But unfortunately, in many homes, it seems to.
But don’t let facts like that get you down, friend.
Despite all this darkness, there is light. From where you are it can seem dim and far off, but it is closer than you think. And you can only get closer the more you strive for it.
It won’t be an easy journey, but it will be worth it.
That light is happiness and love, my friend. It may not be in the places you wish it would be, such as in your family, but it is in the world and you can have it.
I said blood family for a reason.
I have personally found through the loss of my own family, that even when you feel alone and abandoned there is still hope. There is still a chance for happiness and love.
Sometimes you have to make your own family. I did, and I have never been happier. Finally I have people who love me for me, accept me for me, and that love is unconditional. Getting here wasn’t easy. Getting here was hell. But I made it, and I found my happiness.
So can you, friend.
With all that said above, I will tell you my own opinion on what you should do. But remember, the choice in this is yours. It is your life and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you how you should live it, because if you do there will be only misery for you.
When the time comes, when you are ready, I think you should tell your mother. It will probably be one of the scariest things you’ll ever do. But remember that you telling her or not doesn’t change the fact you are who you are. You have always been you and you will be no different after telling her.
Even if it hurts to tell her, and her reaction hurts, there will still be a GREAT weight lifted off you. That was the weight of the lie, my friend. We can breathe easier when we are not suffocating on the lies of who we really are.
You are a wonderful person, friend. And you should never have to hide that person that you truly are.
Life is too short to spend hiding in the shadows. Be who you are. Accept and love who you are.
It gets better, I promise you.
You can and you will get through this.
I just know it.
Good luck, friend.
Just the fact you recognize this and still strive for happiness shows your strength, friend.
Growing up isn’t easy, and some people have it harder than others. It isn’t fair and you don’t deserve it. No one does. Sometimes our lives fall into terrible situations. And those situations can hurt so much that it is emotionally crippling.
And it’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay.
With most situations in life, we have two choices. You can sit and cry and be miserable or you can dry your eyes, pick yourself up and continue on your path to happiness. You will trip along the way, you will stumble, and you may even fall, but if you pick yourself up and keep going despite everything, you will find happiness, friend.
Happiness is worth everything it takes to get there.
I believe in you. And while you didn’t go much into detail, I think you believe in you too. Do not take that for granted. It is something that many people lack. Cherish that belief in yourself. I know it can be easy to fall into doubt, but don’t let it win.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
Make it something worth living.
To be a transgendered person?
There is so much bullshit to deal with, to go through.
We struggle our whole lives, feeling like there is something wrong, not quite understanding it until after years of emotional torment. We look at ourselves in the mirror and where some people see too much belly fat, not enough muscle definition, or an unwanted zit, we see all that plus genitals that have always seemed like a stranger.
A familiar stranger. Something foreign and strange that never stopped being foreign and strange.
And we try to hide that. Not just from the world, but from ourselves. And it’s hard. Because the world is cruel. The world pries at us, tries to dissect us to see what makes us tick because to them, we’re just an oddity. We’re something strange and fascinating that should be on display next to the two headed child because to them we’re all monsters.
But we’re not.
We’re people.
Breathing. Thinking. Hoping. Loving. Hurting. Suffering. Living. People.
And people don’t want to understand. They want everything to fit in neat little black and white packages because they’re scared. They’re scared when they don’t know. The second they feel that gender uncertainty, it’s like their defenses go up. Like they’re grabbing their metaphorical torches and pitchforks and are ready to go kill the beast.
They forget we’re people.
They forget.
My brothers.
My sisters.
My cousins.
They have died for this. They have died for being who they are.
They have died at the hands of fear and intolerance, of ignorance and hate. And it shouldn’t be like that. It should never be like that. Not for anyone. No one should wake up in the morning and fear for their life simply for being who they are.
But it’s not all in vain.
It doesn’t have to be in vain.
It’s hard. I know it’s hard. But this is change. This is the process of change. Slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece, transgendered people are finding a little more acceptance in the world. They are finding a little more safety. It’s a very slow process, yes. But any bit of process is still process.
An inch can become a mile. A second can become a century.
Unfortunately the price of change is often paid in the blood of the innocent.
And there is a lot to fear. There is so much to fear. But we can’t live our lives in fear. We shouldn’t. No one should. And it’s so hard, it’s so scary. But trust me.
Trust me, my brothers, my sisters, my cousins.
Trust me.
Being treated like the human being you are, we are, is worth it.
It’s worth every tear shed, blood shed, and life laid down.
Nothing in vain.
Change is happening.
It will happen.
Don’t give up.
Don’t give up on yourself.
It gets better. It does. I promise you.
I know how you feel.
It’s not easy being passionate in a seemingly passionless world. Love is something a lot of people want, and something a lot of people seem to lack.
And where do they lack it most?
Self love.
There is nothing I can say or do that will change your situation. I can’t give you your perfect lover. No one can. It’s hard. It’s hard finding someone who really clicks with you. And I’ve found through years of depression, loneliness, and misery, that self love really does help. It won’t take the pain away completely, but it does lift a great weight.
And another benefit is that loving yourself and being happy with yourself not only is attractive to other people, but makes you a better lover in the long run.
Self love is also a good way to cope with not having a lover of your own.
And when I say self love, I don’t mean masturbation, though it can be a part of it.
I mean truly loving yourself. Accepting, loving, supporting, and being kind to the person you are. Not beating yourself down. Not hating yourself. Not abusing yourself mentally and physically. Taking care of yourself in every way possible because you KNOW you are worth all the effort.
And of course, never ever give up.
Love pops up in the most unexpected of places. But that’s life. Life pops up in the most unexpected of places.
I know it hurts, and I know its easy to be sad or upset. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be sad. But don’t let that get you down completely. It will just work against you.
And as a little side note, there is nothing wrong with sex so long as it is what both people want. A lot of people seem to have this negative view on it in relationships and that is very unfair to it. Yes, some people use it and abuse it and take advantage of it, but sex is not inherently bad. While I do think it is good that it is not a main concern of yours, it can be a perfectly viable form of intimate, sensual affection.
As for expectations, I never thought it was asking too much to have certain things in a lover. It’s all about what you are willing to tolerate. My standards are pretty high too, but not unrealistic. Just try to set them at a level that is achievable, or you’ll only be miserable chasing a fantasy dream.
Good luck, my friend.
The sadness will pass.
If you let it.
I used to worry a lot too. I used to have very low self esteem and felt miserable and unliked. And it’s easy to turn around and blame yourself. It’s easy to think that oh well people must treat me this way because I’m not worth being treated better.
And that is WRONG.
That is completely and utterly wrong.
You are a person, just like everybody else. And as a person you deserve respect. You deserve kindness. And most of all you deserve happiness and love.
Everyone does.
It sounds like you’re letting the negatives of people get to you. And I completely understand. I do NOT think less of anyone who struggles with negative things. I understand how hard it can be. I do. It is not easy.
But you can do it. Anyone can do it. Not because it is easy by any means but because as a human being you are a survivor. You have a strength in you that even you may not realize. You are capable of a lot more than you think.
But getting there is the hard part.
When I was in my lowest point in life. When I had no one because I was in an abusive and neglectful home, surrounded by family that was completely apathetic, accusing, or alienating, I did the only thing I could do.
When there is no one to turn to in this world, you have to turn to yourself.
You have to work off of your own inner strength.
And trust me, it’s there.
It’s just hard to see through the darkness of depression. But it’s there.
It’s just easy to lose sight of it when you are essentially being attacked from all angles.
But please.
Don’t be one of those attackers.
Don’t betray yourself.
In the end, you are all you have. You are the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life.And that person should be nothing short of loving and supportive.
It’s all about baby steps.
Little improvements in confidence.
YOU CAN DO IT.
Even the tiniest bit of progress is progress.
YOU ARE CAPABLE OF GREAT THINGS.
Even a second can become a billion years.
Fear is a powerful thing. A powerful, horrible thing that makes people do horrible things not only to themselves, but to each other.
Oftentimes we need to face those fears, because even if you never fully conquer them, there is a certain sense of accomplishment that comes with just meeting and battling them.
But I know you can go further than that.
You can.
I know you may not feel it now, but you can, if you let it.
Don’t give up.
Don’t give up on yourself.
You’re worth it.
You’re worth everything.
She questioned me if I was being sarcastic. And I assured her I wasn’t, that she really did a good job and worked hard.
Later she came up to me and said that it really helped her to hear that because as a server, she gets a lot of stress and shit from people and hardly any praise.
And it made me think.
Why don’t we as a society give people more praise where they really deserve it?
Why don’t we tell that stranger walking by that we really like their outfit and they look great?
Why don’t we tell our coworkers they did a great job after a long night?
Why don’t we voice the positive opinions more?
I think we all should.
Because just a tiny bit of positive can make people feel good for a long time. Compliments don’t have to be weird or invasive, just simple and honest.
kismesissitude Asks:
do-you-realize Said:
It’s not bad at all!
There is nothing wrong with crying. Not ever. The only time crying is ‘bad’ is when you let it keep you from things that are important to you. So long as you don’t use it as something to hold you back, there isn’t a thing wrong with crying.
And anyone who says that there is something wrong with it, probably has insecurities of their own. Don’t let their negativity get the best of you.
(via oldchristinathena)
Because they feel that they have failed because they don’t live the way they think they should, that they are TOLD they should.
There are countless ways to live. Just take a look around our planet. Each day people from all over the world live their lives differently. As long as you make it to the next day, you have succeeded in the game of life.
I think it is horrible and down right cruel for ANYONE to look down on ANYONE who lives their life differently, and is not harming anyone by living that way. It is especially horrible when parents say this to their children. These people who are supposed to love you above all others, even themselves.
If no one is getting hurt, and that person is happy, then they have SUCCEEDED.
How do I measure success?
Happiness.
Happiness is something you can’t buy. You can’t give it. You can only make it for yourself. Of course outside influences help, but in the long run, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FEELS THAT HAPPINESS.
So does that mean unhappy people are failures? No. To me, unhappy people are just people with the POTENTIAL to be happy. I believe that everyone can be happy.
Because I believe that deep down, whether you believe it or not, ALL people are strong. ALL people are capable. ALL people have limitless potential. Unfortunately most people just don’t realize that, or don’t want to.
Fear is usually the biggest factor against people.
But let me tell you. Happiness is worth every tear and every drop of blood shed for it. Happiness, true, real, absolute happiness is worth more than anything. And once you have touched it, this miracle of emotion, you will do anything to keep it.
I have had a lot of suffering in my life, and many times I wanted to give up. But don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. When I say it is worth it, it truly is. Even if you are in a lot of pain now. It can get better. It will get better. Sometimes you have to struggle the hardest before life gets better.
But you, you are a beautiful creation of nature. A creature of potential. You are strong. You are a species that was endangered at one point, down to a few thousand, and then rose up to be the dominant species.
You are a part of that.
You are strong.
You are unique.
You are special.
You are beautiful.
You are the very heartbeat of life and you deserve nothing but the best.
Do not let the expectations of others keep you from being who you are and living the life you want. Because loving yourself, your true self, you for YOU, is one of the best feelings in the world.
And one of the biggest steps towards true happiness.
Just because you drop out of school doesn’t mean you are a loser.
Just because you work at a low paying job doesn’t mean you are a loser.
Just because you don’t have a car doesn’t mean you are a loser.
Just because you don’t have much money doesn’t mean you are a loser.
Just because you don’t have many friends doesn’t mean you are a loser.
Just because you like something other people don’t doesn’t mean you are a loser.
YOU.
ARE.
NOT.
A.
LOSER.
And no one. NO ONE has the right to tell you that. You are an individual human being. You are unique and wonderful and there will NEVER be another you.
Just the fact you exist disqualifies you from ever being a loser.
♥
(via goatpox)
